Would You Remarry Your Ex?

Some say there is no going back in life, but occasionally people do get a second (or third) chance at love. As older adults are living longer and more active lives, there are more budding second-act romances between new or reunited couples. The idea that one might remarry a former spouse seems foreign to some but might have others seeing stars.

Thanks to social media, a well-timed class reunion, or a chance meeting, more older adults are reconnecting romantically after going their separate ways for years.  Perhaps they were too young or lacked communication skills the first time around, but after raising children or focusing on careers in mid-life, many seniors find themselves single once again through divorce or death. 

Some old flames have remained friends throughout their lives, while others pick up years later to find the spark they once had never fully extinguished.   With greater self-awareness and lessons learned from prior relationships, silver romances have the potential to be loving and fulfilling.   With fewer years ahead, older couples cherish their time together all the more. 

Although according to one study, as many as 10 to 15 percent of divorced couples will reconcile, statistically the odds of a second marriage ending in divorce are high.  An average of 60 percent of second marriages fail, and they fall apart more quickly than first marriages.  But there are strategies to improve the chances of a lifelong remarriage.  Taking things slowly, getting marriage counseling, addressing the initial reasons for divorce, and being realistic can help make sure a reconciliation will stick.  Although people grow and change, many personality traits are hard-wired.  Expecting a different person to emerge years later is unrealistic. 

People who have experienced love and marriage tend to have a craving for comfort and intimacy which drives divorced people to rush back into marriage.  And yet these partners, whether new or renewed, need to build a relationship slowly especially with the added stress of children and stepchildren, according to Psychology Today.   Relationships later in life can be more complex with the issues of ex-spouses and families, past grievances, and possibly a sense of shame regarding a failed relationship. 

Learning to trust, understanding past relationships, and discussing issues openly can lead to a deeper connection that will withstand the many challenges remarriage can present.  Read more about remarrying your ex-spouse by following this link to A Conscious Rethink.